Half the World Away
by Calbee
Summary: Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. Who would have thought that this could happen when the results of a psychological love test are assumed to have gone horribly wrong... Popular fic by Calbee, now reloaded finally!
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Half the World Away  
**Author:** Calbee  
**Author email:** **Category:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Humor  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. Who would have thought that this could happen when the results of a psychological love test are assumed to have gone horribly wrong...  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This fic is inspired by an idea provided by josette the black pearl.  
**Author notes:**

Name: Calbee

AIM: evehomay

ICQ: 59805381

* * *

Chapter 1 Hermione on the test

Hermione still couldn't believe what she had done. It was sunny outside, and she wasn't really in the mood for any readings. It's unconvincing to anyone who knew her, as she was always seen as the 'bookworm'. Anyway, that didn't mean that she couldn't have mood swings, either. But what she couldn't believe was that she was dragged out on the grounds by Lavender and Pavarti.

"Girls, could you stop giggling and get some work done?" Not that she wanted to ruin their moods, but their continuous giggling was rather annoying.

"Oh, Hermione, relax. Our work's not a hurry, and we can always come up with something," Lavender answered, while lying back on the grass, "Especially since we have all finished out NEWTs already. The work we are now given are just to keep us content."

"Yes, Hermione. You can loosen up a bit, can't you?" said Pavarti, while rolling onto her stomach laughing, "You are not that 'unplayful'."

"Okay, so what have you girls been up to?" Hermione asked finally, sighing, and put away her book.

"This," Lavender picked up the magazine, and waved it at Hermione.

"Witches Weekly? Is that the thing which made two girls giggling, unstopped for half an hour? Don't tell me about those sordid gossips again."

"Hermione, it's far from that! We know clearly that gossips are not your interest," Pavarti made a face of 'kill me instead'.

"Okay, my fault. What is it this time?"

"There is this psychological test in it this time, and it's about 'perfect love match'."

"So how does the result turn out? Hilarious?"

"Far from that," said Lavender, giggling again. "It's 100 percent accurate."

"So, the result turns out to be Ron and Neville?" Hermione asked, "That's what you two have been giggling about? But how could the test showed the name your match?"

"This test had contained the lists of bachelors in the wizarding world, and they would look for the best match for you through the list!" Lavender explained enthusiastically, "Hermione, have a try!"

"What? Me?" Hermione was shocked.

"Join in and have a bit of fun," Pavarti persuaded. "Really, just see what kind of guys suit you, so you would have some preparation with dealing with your, eer... emotions..." It was not a secret that Hermione and Krum's relationship didn't go well. Krum was a nice guy, and he admired Hermione for who she was, but that just wasn't love. Maybe love at first, but obviously, Krum was not the right guy for Hermione. Hermione started to feel the strain eventually, and they broke up. They couldn't even stay as friends.

Hermione knew that they were careful not to mention anything about Krum. But it was two years ago, and it wasn't that much of an impact now. It was an impact at that time, as there was this great guy who was interested in her, not for her looks or knowledge, but for who she was. But they didn't have much in common and so... Well, they broke up. "Well, okay, let me have a try," She took the magazine from Lavender, and turned to the page that had the test on it. "Let's start then."

She pointed her wand on the page. Then the presenter which was drawn on the page came to life... well, sort of. She had two scrolls on one hand, and a quill in the other. She beamed when she saw Hermione, "Oh Goodness! It's Miss Granger! Do you want to try the test too?"

Hermione couldn't help but feel a bit creepy. Even a magazine enchanted presenter knew about her. " Yes. Could you get on with it?"

"Yes, of course. Miss Granger, I have to ask you a few questions in order to run the test. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"First, which would you prefer, a good night out or a home alone?"

"Home alone."

"Well, that's quite surprising," She scribbled down the answer on the white scroll. "Would you feel happier if you have a... how should I put it?"

"Hey, why are you so careful for your words this time? You are not like this when you..."

"Because it is you, Miss Brown. You are obviously proud of your looks."

"I don't think I would be happier with a better look," Hermione replied, while the presenter scribbled down the answer again.

"Understood. If you are given a potion of keeping your skin in best condition, where would you use it on? a) face b) neck c) hand, d) knee, or e) elbow"

"Knee."

"Got it. Hmm. Do you have any siblings?"

"No."

"Okay. Do you like children?"

"Eer... Yes, I think."

"Do you find it difficult to wake up in the morning?"

"Yes."

"But Hermione, you are always the earliest one..." Pavarti questioned.

"But it doesn't mean I can't get up on time, right?"

"Understood. Do you want your boyfriend to be older than you?"

"Yes."

"A-ha. Do you like reading?"

"Yes," Hermione glared at Lavender and Pavarti for their hilarious giggling.

"Which one would you consider as a good metaphor of yourself, flower or grass?"

"Grass."

"Okay, let's see what my magic scroll say," She pulled open the second scroll, and looked kind of freaked out when she saw the name. "It can't be..." She double-checked the name on the scroll, and said really carefully, "Miss Granger, please keep calm."

"Who is it? I mean it wouldn't be as bad as Snape," Hermione joked, but the presenter became all rigid and pale. "Don't tell me..."

"I am afraid, Miss Granger, that according to my scroll, your perfect match is Professor Severus Snape."

To Be Continued


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Half the World Away  
**Author name:** Calbee  
**Author email:** **Category:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Humor  
**Keywords:** Snape Hermione psychological  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. Who would have thought that this could happen when the results of a psychological love test are assumed to have gone horribly wrong...  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This fic is inspired by an idea provided by josette the black pearl.  
**Author notes:**

Thank you for everyone's reviews!

_Transylvanian_: Yes, it is the same one. Somehow had decided to take it off the site 5 months ago, so now I need to to reload it, and also rewrite the last 5 chapters (Chapters 15 to 19). Anyway, rest assured this fic will be updated once a week (every Thursday). And don't think I didn't recognize your name, Transylvanian! I have you in my fic mailing list for notification!

_Natsuyori_: See above. And I recognize your name on my mailing list as well. Don't think I have forgotten you.

* * *

Chapter 2 Snape reads the test

"Miss Granger, Miss Brown, Miss Patil, what are you doing here?"

"Speak of the devil," Hermione, who was the first to recover, murmured slamming the magazine shut and hiding it behind her. "Nothing, Professor... we are going now."

"What are you hiding behind you?" Snape asked, eyeing Hermione dangerously. Reluctantly, Hermione showed him the magazine. "Ten points from Gryffindor for taking readings onto the grounds. Ten more points for being Head Girl while breaking the rules." Snape took the magazine from Hermione. "This is confiscated." Then he walked away, his robe bellowing behind him.

Hermione turned to Lavender and Pavarti, "I am sorry about the magazine. I'll get a new one for you." She noticed that they were still rather pale. "Are you two okay?"

"Erm... Hermione, do you think Snape would read it by any chance?" Lavender asked, carefully.

"Him! No way. Why are you asking this?"

"There is this last bit of the test that would explain how your answers for the questions indicated your perfect match... " Pavarti swallowed, "and Snape was your perfect match..."

"Lavender, Pavarti, it is just a test, not reality. Okay? We better get back inside before we lose more points."

* * *

He was expecting her to be doing some university level reading, but this? This is the last thing in the world he would expect to see her with, especially with those incidents two years ago... No one would believe, and even Snape was a bit surprised that, he was not pleased to find Hermione with a copy of Witches' Weekly. He always saw her as one of the most mature among her peers, and he actually had high hopes for her, even though she was a Gryffindor. His stream of thoughts was interrupted by the muffled voice from the magazine he had rolled up. Out of curiosity, he opened the magazine. Once it was opened, the presenter screamed, "Miss Granger, even if your love match turned out to be Professor Snape, still you don't need to... Speak of the devil." The presenter shut up immediately, mentally hitting herself.

Snape arched an eyebrow at her. "Love match?" This was getting more interesting than he thought.

"Nothing." The presenter wouldn't say another word except for nothing.

"Fine, then you wait 'til the end of world to tell Miss Granger." Snape was prepared to close the magazine again, but his action was stopped by the screaming from the presenter, "Professor! You know that I have to finish explaining the test before I can go back to rest! It will bore me to hell if you don't give me back to Miss Granger!"

Snape smirked at her, "You have two choices, shut up or say whatever you need to finish the test."

The presenter was in a very difficult situation. If she didn't give out the explanation of the test, she would be conscious. If she did, Snape would know what the hell was happening, and it was not professional for her to tell him.

"Okay, here we go."

"First question, Miss Granger preferred to be home alone rather than going out, which showed that she was rather introverted.

"Second question, she didn't care much about her looks, which shows that she is not really confident in herself, even though she might already be fairly successful in reality. She sees people for who they are, not their appearance.

"She chose to keep the skin on her knees in good condition which means that she is both sensible and courageous, but she prefers to stick with her own experience and knowledge, rather than asking help from someone else. She cares far too much about people's opinions of her.

"The next six questions show that the kind of man she needs is someone who is sensitive, understanding and experienced, but not necessarily a romantic, as she couldn't stand mushy situations herself either. She needs a partner, not a boyfriend."

"Before you go back to rest, tell me, why am I her perfect match?"

"Seriously, Professor, I have no idea. I'm only responsible for administering the test, not criticizing the result." With that the picture was as lifeless as before.

To Be Continued


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Half the World Away  
**Author name:** Calbee  
**Author email:** **Category:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Humor  
**Keywords:** Snape Hermione psychological  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. Who would have thought that this could happen when the results of a psychological love test are assumed to have gone horribly wrong...  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This fic is inspired by an idea provided by josette the black pearl.  
**Author notes:**

Thank you for everyone's reviews!

In one of the reviews for chapter 2, there is the mention of keeping the characters in character. Please indulge me here as I am not exactly exactly sure about characters in character.

All characters have their characteristics/ personalities, but I am a firm believer that when one is being pushed too far, either circumstances-wise or intentionally, people would snap and do things that people won't believe he or she would do. And I am afraid the coming few chapters are one of those occasions. So if you think that Hermione and the rest of them are out of character in here, I would like to apologize in advance.

Enough of me babbling here. Let's get on with the story, and enjoy!

Chapter 3 Hermione's nightmare

"Miss Granger, would you be so kind as to tell me what are you doing?"

Hermione jumped at the voice. Professor Snape? How... Oh shit. Potions lesson. "Nothing, Professor." When she stole a look around, she was surprised to see that she was the only one in the classroom.

"Miss Granger, obviously you are day-dreaming. Ten points from Gryffindor," Snape said, walking back to his office, and closing the door behind him. Hermione quickly scrambled her things back into her bag and ran out of the dungeon.

* * *

Snape sighed after he closed the office door behind him. He could 'understand' why she was 'preoccupied'. Who would want to find out that her perfect match would be him? Especially a student? Okay, he was old-fashioned not to believe in relationships between a teacher and a student, but him? No one would want to get into a relationship like that. Anyway, it was just an amateur test in a gossip magazine. He didn't need to worry about it. He was sure that Hermione would come to this same conclusion quickly. Anyway... it was quite frightening that the test did point out her character accurately, at least as far as he could tell.

* * *

Hermione had the same feelings that Snape had. Well, it was just a test, but surely there should be soof reference or proof for it to come up with a conclusion like this. Anyway, she wouldn't take it seriously, really. She was not really that 'desperate' for a lover or anything like that. She just hoped that Lavender and Pavarti would keep their mouths shut about the test. Although it was already a week since that incident, you never knew when the news could break out.

When she was about to tell the Fat Lady the password to enter her common room, the Fat Lady said instead, "I am really sorry about the test, Hermione. Obviously there is a fault there."

Shit! "It's alright, I don't believe it either. Spyglass." The portrait flung open, and Hermione went through the portrait hole. Once she was inside, she could feel the attention that was focused on her. She was going to kill Lavender and Pavarti. She looked around, and saw them sitting at the table near the fireplace, busy writing something. She walked towards them, and banged her fist on the table, "What the hell did you two think you were doing? Are you two crazy? Telling the Fat Lady about the test in Witches' Weekly?"

"Hermione, relax." Lavender pulled her down on the seat next to them and protested, "We are writing a letter with everyone's signature on to Witches' Weekly, to complain about your particular result."

Hermione was stunned. They what! "So you told everyone in Gryffindor about it, and..."

"... and the Fat Lady heard that by chance," Pavarti finished off.

"Are you two out of your minds!" Hermione screamed at Lavender and Pavarti, who were puzzled about Hermione's sudden anger. "What you are doing is exactly you shouldn't be doing! Do you know that you are spreading this ridiculous result when you are trying to defend me?"

"But Hermione! This test is obviously trying to ruin your reputation! Linking you with Snape!" Lavender still didn't get it why Hermione was so furious. They were just trying to protect her... Well, she didn't really try to, but surely, someone needed to care for her image! They knew she was intelligent and confident, but this was just not what she would need after graduation in the wizarding world, unless she was going back to the Muggle world...

"I don't want to hear anything about this again." Hermione took the letter and the signatures from the table. She turned around and said to everyone in the room, "I don't want to hear a word about this again, not in here, not outside. Never. Have I made myself clear?"

No one dared to say a word, not even Ron and Harry. "Good." Hermione burnt the letter and the signatures in front of everyone, and went back to her Head Girl room.

Although Hermione had left them, no one had the nerve to breathe too deeply, afraid that she would return any minute. Slowly, Ron said, "Wow, that is bloody impressive."

Suddenly, everyone freaked out.

_To Be Continued_

Updated: 10th November 2005


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Half the World Away  
**Author name:** Calbee  
**Author email:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Humor  
**Keywords:** Snape Hermione psychological  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. Who would have thought that this could happen when the results of a psychological love test are assumed to have gone horribly wrong...  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This fic is inspired by an idea provided by josette the black pearl.  
**Author notes:** Big thanks for everyone's reviews!

I am sorry for the late update, but I was exhausted from the last two days --- my graduation ceremony and the celebration afterwards.

I Love Tonks: I did try to get Half the World Away onto ashwinder, but they were unsatisfied with my fics's grammar. I am still looking for a beta at the moment, so as soon as I can find someone to look through my fic, the sooner I could update it on other sites instead.

So, any volunteers to be my beta?

**Chapter 4 Is the nightmare over? Not exactly... I think**

That evening, everyone was still under the pressure from Hermione's earlier behaviour, but they tried to act normally. They still could sense the awkwardness, not only in Gryffindor, but the whole hall, excluding the staff. Harry had a really bad feeling about this. It felt exactly like the atmosphere in fourth year at the Feast. Something wrong was going to happen, possibly the Slytherins were up to something.

The Gryffindors were careful to watch for any kind of outbreak, and when Hermione walked into the Hall...

"Oh, so that's the future Mrs. Snape, Pansy?" Blaise said so loudly that the whole hall heard it.

* * *

Immediately the whole hall burst into gasps, as well as the sounds of the breaking of plates, the dropping of knifes, forks, goblets etc on the floor, and a few loud hammerings of fits on tables. Up on the High Table, the staff was shocked at what Blaise had said. The spoon in McGonagall's hand slid down and landed in her bowl of soup, which splashed out onto the table and on her. Lupin had choked on the bread he was eating. Hagrid physically broke his fork in half. Vector acted like she was having a heart attack, clutching her chest. As for Flitwick, Sprout and Pince, they had passed out due to the shock, while Pomfrey and Hooch were too busy to be shocked as they were checking on the three passed out staff. No one dared to look at Snape except for Dumbledore, who was as shocked as everyone else, although he as everyone else didn't notice that he himself had dipped his beard in his soup too. Snape noticed the stare of question and shock from Dumbledore, but he just arched his eyebrow, implying, "You are an idiot if you believe it."

Dumbledore got his expression straightened out right away, but there was that twinkle in his eyes that Snape could read as disappointment. He better do something to end this outrageous scene. He really doubted that Pansy and Blaise had any idea what they were doing. They brought humiliation upon Hermione, but they forgot that they also brought that to him too. A teacher and student? For Merlin's sake! What should he do to end it without favouring either side? Before he could come up with a solution, Hermione had already taken it into her own hands... with shocking effects.

* * *

Normally, the Gryffindors did not give a damn if the Slytherins were all dead, but this time they were actually worried for them. With Hermione's outburst earlier that night... well, the Slytherins better pray for salvation, especially Blaise and Pansy.

Hermione changed direction, and walked towards the Slytherin table. Blaise and Pansy were both confident that Hermione wouldn't dare to do anything with everyone looking at them, but they were wrong this time.

"Expelliarmus!" Blaise and Pansy's wands had flown away from their robes, and Hermione's hands had reached out and grabbed their ties tightly, one in each hand, and lifted them slightly off the floor. She said, looking them in the eyes seriously, "This is not a funny thing to say. Pansy Parkinson. Blaise Zabini. If you two wanted to humiliate me, that's fine, but NEVER EVER pull anyone else into this mess. DO YOU HEAR ME! That is a teacher you are pulling in, and he's your Head of House. When you do this, you are not just humiliating me, but also _yourselves_, and I don't just mean you two," Hermione now looked at the rest on the Slytherin table, "but all of you. This is far too childish for my level, and far too low for your precious 'pure-blood'. DO I make myself clear?" Blaise and Pansy could only nod at her slightly for the pressure they had on their necks.

Hermione released them, and they both fell hard onto the floor, as they had both fainted dead. Ignoring what the rest of the school thought about this, she left the Hall, closing the door behind her loudly and leaving everyone in the Hall speechless.

* * *

Back on the High Table, there was a little 'riot' going on again. McGonagall couldn't quite believe that that was Hermione speaking. It was totally out of character. Lupin was so shocked that he forgot he was still choking on the bread. Hagrid had fallen off his chair. Vector had a heart attack and Pomfrey was tending to her. Flictwick, Sprout and Pince were awake, but fainted again after they heard Hermione's outburst. Hooch was so busy making sure that the fainted staff was alright, that she didn't faint herself. Dumbledore, who was taking his beard out from the soup, said, "Severus, I actually think Miss Granger would be perfect for you if she was not a student."

This resulted in angry glares from the staff still conscious, especially the ones who were restraining Snape from strangling Dumbledore.

The staff was so busy 'cleaning up the mess' that they had totally forgotten one of the staff who was at the table that night too --- Sibyll Trelawney, who was mumbling, "I knew it a long time ago."

To Be Continued

Updated 18th November 2005


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** Half the World Away  
**Author name:** Calbee  
**Author email:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Humor  
**Keywords:** Snape Hermione psychological  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. Who would have thought that this could happen when the results of a psychological love test are assumed to have gone horribly wrong...  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This fic is inspired by an idea provided by josette the black pearl.  
**Author notes:** Thanks for everyone's review!

rinny08: Thanks for the offer to beta for me. I'll get in contact with you in the coming few days.

SlytherinxBitch: I have to say SS/HG is my favourite pairing as well, not because of the whole forbidden relationship thing between teacher and student, but more with how you can find soulmate in the least expected person, that's another reason why I also like DM/HG and RL/HG pairings as well.

Also, sorry for the late update. I was travelling around Britain on short trips and I had totally forgotten about updating. So sorry about it.

* * *

Chapter 5 Is this really Hermione?

"The future Mrs. Snape? I am crazy if I am going to marry Snape."

BANG!

"Those Slytherins just DON'T grow up, do they?"

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"I am going to kill them. Chop them up into a million pieces and feed them to sharks!"

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

It was a good thing that all Head Girls had their own room. Most of the Gryffindors didn't know what that 'BANG' was about, but Harry and a few other muggle-born guessed that that was the sound made by hitting a punch bag. Only Harry knew for sure that Hermione did own one. She normally hid it under her bed, and he had seen her use it once --- two years ago, after she broke up with Krum.

"Harry, are you sure it is wise to leave Hermione in her room like that?" Ginny asked, when the loud 'Bang' came again. She was getting worried about what Hermione was doing in her room.

"I am absolutely sure, Ginny. I doubt very much she would want to see anyone, at least for tonight," Then Harry remembered, and also hit himself for forgetting it. "Ron, have you seen Professor McGonagall anywhere after dinner?"

"No, we were all sent back to our common room. Why? What's wrong?" Ron asked.

"We have all forgotten that Hermione 'dueled' in the Hall. What do you think they are going to do with her?"

Oops! "At least... none of the tutors have reappeared yet. Well, it won't be too serious I think. It's obviously the Slytherin's fault."

"I very much doubt it." Harry and Ginny looked at Lavender and Pavarti, who had positioned themselves at the far end of the common room.

* * *

Lupin groaned when he was 'sent' to tell Hermione the good news. But first, he had to get past Harry, Ron, and Ginny. "Harry, I have to tell Hermione about the decision first." Lupin sighed. Harry had the same determination of his parents --- James and Lily. Now, he, Ginny and Ron wouldn't let him go to Hermione's room.

Harry was determined not to let Lupin see Hermione tonight, and Lupin could sense it. "Okay, Harry, what's going on?"

Harry looked at Ginny and Ron, then said finally, "Moony, I would 'advise' that you don't speak to Hermione tonight. If you 'have to' tell her what the staff had decided on her punishment, you better write it down, and give her through the gap of her door."

Ginny added, "Professor, you are in danger if you insisted on seeing her tonight."

Lupin was quite shocked that they told him this. He could only sighed and rubbed his temple, "Why am I sent to break the news?" Before Lupin could react on Harry's and Ginny's advice, Ron had already taken off the silencing charm, and the loud and sudden 'Bang' almost knocked Lupin off his feet. "What's that? Is it coming from Hermione's room?" It was followed by a lot of groaning from different floors of both dorm.

All three nodded. Harry said, "She had been hitting that punch bag all night, and the sound scared quite a number of the younger years that we put a silencing charm on. She has been hitting the punch bag unstopped for three hours already."

Lupin was fighting inside. He should leave a message for Hermione that the staff didn't blame her at all, and there was no punishment going to be put on her, but... With the situation now, it was wiser for him to leave it till tomorrow.

* * *

Lupin had been keeping a journal since he was eleven. But for tonight, he didn't know what to write down, or more accurately, what he should write down. everything seemed so bizarre to him --- Hermione's fiery character underneath, Snape's reaction, Dumbledore's amusement of the situation, McGonagall's expression of shock...

It was quite some time after the staff had finally cooled down, and could talk 'relevantly' about the incident.

"I assume that Miss Granger shouldn't be blamed?" Dumbledore said, while looking at both McGonagall and Snape.

All the staff nodded their head, except for Snape. McGonagall added, "Miss Granger is defending for herself, although I think her reaction is a bit too vigorous, still I couldn't blame her for that." She mumbled, "I should better find out who leaked this information to the Slytherin." She glared at Snape.

"What information?" Lupin, who was sitting right next to McGonagall, asked.

McGonagall neglected Lupin's query, glaring at Snape and Dumbledore, "I told Dumbledore before not to let the students order 'Witches' Weekly' a whole lot of times, and now, what I have worried all the time had come true."

"Minerva, I know what you are worrying about, but we can't ban them from ordering Witches'..." Dumbledore wanted to calm her down, but was further interrupted by McGonagall.

"Oh no, we can! Using muggle's term, this is an anti-feminist publication, which taught them nothing at all, but pushing their teenage-hormones."

Surprisingly, Snape nodded in agreement.

Regardless of Snape's agreement of her opinion, which was extremely rare, she continued, "There is this test in this week's Witches' Weekly, about finding the perfect match. The Fat Lady told me about Hermione taking that test, which is still a shock to me, and her match being Snape," she glared at Snape, "was more than shocking to the poor dear girl." McGonagall ordered, "I demand to know who leaked this information to the Slytherins and Miss Granger will not be punished for dueling in the Hall."

"You wish would be granted, Minerva. Firstly, Minerva, please ask the Fat Lady and all the Gryffindors if they know anything about the leakage of the 'information'. Severus, could you ask Miss Blaise and Miss Parkinson where they got that 'information'... erm, tomorrow. They had a fair degree of shock and punishment for tonight." Dumbledore was restraining himself from smiling. "Anything more?" Silence. "Okay, that's it."

The staff started moving out, but Dumbledore asked Snape to stay after. Snape stayed in his seat, and both of them kept silent until the door was closed behind them. "Severus, are you really that against the idea of..." Before Dumbledore could finish the question, Snape had already jumped up from his seat and left, closing the door behind him loudly.

Outside the room, the staff was actually watching from a distance. They heard what Dumbledore had asked (thanks to Flickwick for his spying charm), and Snape's reaction of leaving immediately without a word. This was getting stranger that they would like it to be.

They were so deeply in thoughts that they didn't notice Dumbledore approaching them, "Had you all heard and seen it?"

To Be Continued

Updated: 30th November 2005


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** Half the World Away  
**Author name:** Calbee  
**Author email:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Humor  
**Keywords:** Snape Hermione psychological  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. Who would have thought that this could happen when the results of a psychological love test are assumed to have gone horribly wrong...  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This fic is inspired by an idea provided by josette the black pearl.  
**Author notes:** Thanks for all your reviews!

rinny08: I tried to email you, but won't show your email in the profile. Could you email me instead? evehomay (a) calbee . wanadoo . co .uk (just take the spaces out). Thank you!

Chapter 6 So, what's now?

"Have you seen Miss Granger today yet, Minerva?" Dumbledore asked, who had finally noticed Hermione's absence from meals since Friday evening. It wasn't really a problem, as it was Sunday. On one hand, she was not going to miss any of her lessons. On the other hand, she knew where to get food when she wanted, especially that Dobby and Twinky answered her needs the best they can these days, even she didn't ask for the attention. There was really no worry about her physically, but emotionally, he really had no idea.

"I haven't. Remus said, as I quote here, 'We better leave her alone for the weekend.'" Minerva made that hand-movement of 'apostrophe'.

Dumbledore turned to Lupin, who seemed a bit spaced out, "Remus? Are you there?"

Lupin came back suddenly, and noticed that Dumbledore had asked him a question, " I beg your pardon?"

"Minerva said that you told her to 'leave Miss Granger alone for the weekend'." Dumbledore was amused, "What did she do?"

"Erm... " Lupin didn't know where to start. "I could only say she is still 'pretty' unstable." He still had difficulty believing what happened on Friday --- the incident in the hall and all.

"Well, I'm afraid that she would be more unstable if she had read Wizards' Weekly." Vector added.

Lupin looked puzzlingly at Vector. "What do you mean?"

"For God's sake, don't you read?" Vector snapped at him, but couldn't keep up her irritation after seeing Lupin's 'innocent' face. Why him! She threw him a copy of Wizards' Weekly, which Lupin caught it in mid-air. "Read page 10."

Lupin was rather surprised that she read Wizards' Weekly. Well, he didn't mean to stereotype anyone (he was still a bit shocked at Hermione's fiery side which had finally emerged), but this was a male magazine. Anyway, he turned the pages, and read the page that Vector mentioned. He read to himself... "Sometime ago, there was a test on Witches' Weekly that could find the perfect match for a witch. This only means that the wizard allocated to be her match would suit her character, but it doesn't necessarily mean that the wizard could actually stand her . Therefore, for this week's special features, we have asked Madam Wilson who designed the test for Witches' Weekly, to design an exactly identical test for our male readers. And here it is . To start the test, please point your wand at the presenter below." Lupin shot up from his chair, shocked. He looked back at Vector, who was nonchalantly draining a goblet of pumpkin juice. He tried to speak up, but couldn't quite find the right words.

"Remus, I suggest you close your mouth. A sagging jaw does not exactly give you the air of an intellectual, " Vector said before leaving the Hall, surprisingly followed by both McGonagall and Sprout.

When the three witches were outside the Great Hall, Professor Sprout quickly pulled the Arithmacy teacher towards the staff room, followed by McGonagall. Sprout pushed her down on one of the single sofas while McGonagall moved a chair under the knob of the door to block it physically They are witches and would probably use a spell.. They both sat down opposite Vector. Vector just frowned at them, not knowing what they wanted. All she wanted now was go shopping in order to let off her ridiculous anger. It's Sunday, so the shops were probably closed

"Cynthia, what's wrong with you?" McGonagall asked, who had noticed her uneasiness since Friday.

"Me? Nothing."

"Don't. Cynthia, there is something wrong." Sprout, who was always gentle and soft, demanded an answer.

"Nothing, just angry."

"Angry about what?" They were getting near to the point.

"About nothing."

"No. Something."

"Nothing."

"SOMETHING!"

"NOTHING!"

"No, there must be something." McGonagall insisted.

"Nothing! Even if I am angry about someone, it's none of your business!" Vector jumped up from the sofa, and started walking around the staff room, murmuring 'that werewolf moron'.

Sprout and McGonagall both raised their eyebrows at the murmuring.

* * *

Once McGonagall and Sprout had 'extracted' what they wanted from Vector, the three of them moved to Gryffindor Tower to check on Hermione. Lupin had said to leave her alone, but being women and also Hermione's professors, they knew clearly what was best to do about the situation.

As it was still dinnertime, they didn't meet any student on the way. When they were just a few steps away from Hermione's room, Twinky came out of Hermione's room.

"Professors." Twinky greeted them with a bow.

"Twinky, how is Miss Granger doing?" McGonagall asked.

"Miss Granger has had all her meals in her room. She is playing the same song over and over again, using a charm. She has also been asking for anything sweet, and even asked Twinky to eat with her too." Twinky frowned when she mentioned it. "Bad Twinky. Twinky shouldn't be doing that."

McGonagall smiled at Twinky. "No, you have done a very good job."

Twinky was flattened by the comment. "Do Professors need anything? Twinky can get it for Professors."

Vector nodded at her. "Could you go get some more sweet things and a few butterbeer for us? And send it to Miss Granger's room?"

"Twinky will get them. Twinky will be back quickly!" Twinky disappeared with a 'pop'.

Minerva knocked at Hermione's door, "Miss Granger, can we come in?"

The door was quickly answered by Hermione, who was a bit surprised to see that McGonagall, Sprout and Vector were standing outside, waiting to see her.

"Please, do come in, professors." Hermione stepped aside and let the professors came in.

* * *

Lupin was rather confused why Vector had been acting so weird towards him. They weren't close, but she had never been like this before. She seemed really angry with him for reasons he didn't understand himself. Looking back at the magazine in his hands, an idea had came up in his mind --- make Snape to take the test.

Hermione was not the only one absent from meals in the Great Hall. Snape had not made an appearance there since the incident. It was a relief for the Slytherins, as they couldn't stand Snape either since the incident. Snape had been in such a vitriolic mood that even just the sight of him would scare anyone to death if they were conscious of the slightest misbehaviour.

Snape knew what was wrong with him. He fought hard with himself in order not to admit he resented the situation, but in vain. In return, he expressed his frustration and anger through his acidic mood, which was too much even for his Slytherins to endure.

His tranquility was disrupted by a knock at his office door. "Come in." To his amazement, it was Lupin. "If you are here for the wolfsbane potion, it will be ready a day from tomorrow." It was a silent request to be left alone.

"I am not here for the wolfsbane potion." replied Lupin, neglecting the silent request. He put the magazine on Snape's desk. "Read page 10, it might help. But I want it back, as it's not mine. I'll be waiting outside in the classroom."

Before Snape could realize what that page was about, Lupin had already left his office. Good that he had exited, or else Snape couldn't be held responsible for what he was going to do to him. Anyway, it wouldn't be a bad idea. It would let his worries rest in peace. So, hesitantly, he pointed his wand at the presenter on that page. The presenter came to life, and like the one in Witches' weekly, he was equally shocked to see Snape.

"Oh, Professor, what can I do for you?"

"The test."

"The test?" The presenter was still in shock and thus didn't quite understand what Snape had asked him to do the first time. "Oh! The test."

Snape nodded at the presenter. He had never seen a presenter so thick before.

The presenter took one scroll and unrolled it and started the first question. "Okay. Professor Snape, here is eight colours --- green, brown, purple, blue, red, orange, white and yellow. Could you arrange these colours starting with your least-liked one?"

"Red, purple, white, orange, yellow, brown, blue, green."

"Which of the following do you like best? a) curry b) spaghetti c) soup noodles or d) macaroni?"

"Spaghetti."

"If you are going on a barbecue picnic with your friends, which of the following would you volunteer to take care of? a) the tools, b) the food, c) the drinks or d) the cleaning afterwards?"

"The food."

"If an artist offered to draw you a portrait, which of the following medium would you prefer? a) oil-painting, b) charcoal drawing, c) watercolour or d) crayon drawing?"

"Charcoal drawing."

"Which of the following body language would most probably be yours if a friend of yours were late? a) touching your mouth with your hand, b) crossing your arms in front of your chest, c) putting one hand in your pocket, or d) clasping your hands behind your back?"

"Crossing my arms in front of my chest."

"Okay, that's all the questions for the test." Then the presenter unrolled another parchment, and explained. "For the first question, the last colour, which is also your favourite colour, is green. People who choose green have two faces. They could be enthusiastic and cool at the same time. However, they have difficulty in showing what they really meant most of the time. Therefore, if their actions are understood and appreciated, they would in most cases be the most reliable and trustworthy colleagues, friends or lovers.

The second question is about what type of girls you think you would like. Your answer is spaghetti. It shows that you have both a rather traditional and modern ideas of females. You would expect them at least to be educated, like females in the past centuries. However, you would also expect them to put their knowledge to use, and be an independent being.

For the third question, your answer is the food. Food and drinks are both consumable, but the difference between them is that food more time-consuming to prepare, especially if you do it manually without magic. The measurements for seasoning etc. has to be exact, and you can't really change the taste once it's done, unlike drinks. It shows that you are really careful about details, and would like to bury yourself in any academic researches.

You chose charcoal drawing as your fourth answer. You don't care much about what others think of you, so you adjust your behavior to the people you are interacting with. Different people will have very different ideas of who you are.

Crossing your arms in front of your chest when your friend's late shows that you are rather stubborn at times. But it is also an archetypal male gesture of defense, so this means that you are rather a masculine type.

Overall, it seems that you need someone who could let you take control or guide at times, but also has a mind of her own. As you are occasionally very stubborn, she also needs to be as stubborn or strong-willed as you are in order to have a chance to stand up to you.

And your match should be... " The presenter couldn't say a word, not even a syllable, after he saw the name on the scroll.

Snape waited for five minutes, and still not a single word had escaped from the presenter's mouth. "Who?"

The presenter came back to his senses, and suggested carefully, "Professor, do you mind taking the test again? I am sure there is a mistake here."

"Who is it?" Snape insisted, with menace in his voice.

The presenter appeared to be very scared. He became as lifeless as before once the name had left his lips. "Miss Hermione Granger!"

* * *

Lupin turned his head towards Snape once he heard the opening of the door. Snape threw the magazine back at him. Lupin was tempted very much to ask him about the result, but by the Potions Master's frustrated facial expression and restless body language he already knew the answer. Instead of asking, he just looked at Snape, with an evil smile on his lips.

"We still have enough time to go to the Three Broomstick for a drink or two. C'mon," Lupin said, although he doubted a drink or two would be enough.

To Be Continued

Updated: 7th December 2005


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** Half the World Away  
**Author name:** Calbee  
**Author email:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Humor  
**Keywords:** Snape Hermione psychological  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. Who would have thought that this could happen when the results of a psychological love test are assumed to have gone horribly wrong...  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This fic is inspired by an idea provided by josette the black pearl.  
**Author notes:** Thanks to everyone who has reviewed!

I remembered that when this chapter was originally uploaded on almost a year and a half ago, and let's say it didn't go down well. So if you hate this chapter in the end, don't say I didn't warn you. Actually, tell you what, I myself is freaking out in fear right now.

Also, sorry for the late update. I am going tostay with my friend and her family for Christmas, so I have been busy packing and shopping for Christmas presents for everyone. Merry Christmas everyone!

Chapter 7 Cupids and butterbeer

"DiDi, are you okay?" Rosmerta asked DiDi finally. She had been staring into thin air for a couple of times. It seemed like she was not there at all.

"I am okay," DiDi, or Hermione, replied. "Sorry..."

"It's okay, DiDi. I am just wondering if there is something on your mind." Rosmerta replied, while pulling her to sit down behind the bar with her. "Is anything wrong at school?"

"No, nothing." Hermione stiffened when she considered the option of telling Rosmerta. It would be a disaster. "I better go..."

Rosmerta pushed her back onto the chair. "No, you get some rest, there will be more customers coming. It's Sunday you know." She took Hermione's place at the bar.

Some might wonder who this DiDi was. Well, she was the new part-time waitress of The Three Broomstick. No one knew much about her, aside from her name and that she was a relative of Rosmerta, thought it wasn't common knowledge. However, she did have one secret, which under no circumstances that DiDi would allow it to become know --- DiDi was actually Hermione Granger.

Hermione was shifting uncomfortably on her spot since she noticed two of the staff arrived in the Three Broomsticks --- Professor Snape and Professor Lupin. It wasn't the first time she had met staff in Three Broomsticks, but this was the first time she met them in disguise. She was confident that no one would recognize her changed exterior, but not Snape. He was a spy, and he would notice it, most probably.

While she was musing about the possibility that he might uncover her identity, Lupin had come to the bar, and asked, "Are you new here?"

Hermione panicked, for just a few seconds, but this didn't escape Snape's eyes. "Yes. I am DiDi. What can I get for you, sir?"

"Two butterbeers to start with," Lupin replied, while he pointed at Snape. "He might need something stronger later."

"Okay, two butterbeers." She poured two butterbeers and put them on the bar table. "That will be ten knuts."

Lupin put the money on the table. "Here you are. We still haven't introduced..."

"I know who you are. You are Professor Lupin," Hermione smiled at Lupin, who was a little bit surprised that she knew him, "and you are Professor Snape, both from Hogwarts. Am I right?"

"How did you know who we are?" Snape asked . He noticed something familiar about her, but he couldn't reckon what it was .

"As I only work on Saturday and Sunday nights, I didn't have a chance to meet you two, as you most likely come during the day. I have been hearing a lot about the two of you from Rosmerta and other customers, and I know enough to recognize who you are." Hermione was so proud of herself to have come up with such a good explanation in such short time.

Snape still felt her story a bit strange, but there was nothing he could or would do, as he was interrupted by Rosmerta.

"Hello, Severus, Remus. I see that you have met DiDi." Rosmerta then said to Hermione, "DiDi, could you go tidy up the tables next to the door? Thanks." Once Hermione was far enough away from them, not able to hear what they were saying, Rosmerta said, "I warn you, Remus, don't you fool around with her."

"Hey, why's that only directed at me?"

"Because Severus is too much of a gentleman to lay a hand on her." Rosmerta said, deadly serious.

((From this point on, when Hermione was under disguised, she would be referred to as DiDi.))

"DiDi."

"Yes, Professor. Another butterbeer?"

"Yes, please." Lupin replied, "And another Firewhisky for him." He pointed at Snape.

DiDi was a bit worried that Snape was having too much to drink already. "Professor, he shouldn't have any more..."

"Ask him."

Snape replied without looking at her. "Give me another one."

"Professor Snape, you are..."

"I am not. Give me another one." Snape looked up this time, and DiDi was sure that he was not drunk. He was full up to his eyeballs.

"Professor Lupin, why did you do this? You have been encouraging him to drink for a whole night. What are you trying to do?" Hermione was sure Lupin was up to something as he not only encouraged Snape, but even bought him drinks.

"People normally speak the truth when they are drunk. It works better than Veritaserum, DiDi. There are things I want to know."

"About?"

"Well, according to a test, he was matched with a student, and I want to know what he is going to do about it, as that student is the best friend of my friend's son."

"What is this test you are talking about?" DiDi asked, pretending total ignorance. "I thought it was only for witches..."

"No, there is another one for wizards this week in Wizard's Weekly. And he has taken the test, the result of which is, as I said, that student."

DiDi was more than sure now that she and Snape were tied both ways according to the tests. If Lupin had been more careful, he should have noticed the shock, relief and worry on her face. "Don't you think you are being a bit too overreacting?" she said finally, "It's not as if a mere test made them a couple for eternity..."

"I'd rather be more careful. He is Snape, not someone else. He is dark and has a difficult life and past... I am not sure about their match."

"Professors, I think you are treading on thin ice if you 'search' any further."

"And why is that?" Lupin asked.

"Well, it is a matter between two people, not for the whole world to discuss. If I were that student, I wouldn't take it too seriously, as it's just a test. But I would wonder why I am matched to him and he to me, because there must be something that makes the two of us 'suitable' for each other. I might be shocked that he is my match, but frankly, Professor Snape probably has his good sides, too."

"Please tell me what is good about him. I couldn't think of any."

"If I were his girlfriend, firstly, I wouldn't need to worry that he might cheat on me. He isn't as casual as Sn... I mean Sirius Black, about women. It would be a relief for me. He is learned and intelligent, and I don't think I would be disappointed in an intellectual conversation. God knows how I hate those men who would only talk about Quidditch all the time and nothing else. Given his character, if he cared about me, and loved me, he would make sure no harm would come to me in any way, physically or mentally, in a very unobtrusive way. Maybe he is not a romantic person, but I think it's good to be realistic. I wouldn't want a guy to show his affections by bringing me flowers and sweets. I would prefer him to show them through his actions. It could be just a secret smile, directed at me and nobody else, or a pat on the shoulder, or even just a simple sentence." Hermione emphasized, "AND most important, there is no explanation to love. If I loved him, there would be a hundred reasons for it ."

"Does this mean that you are interested in Snape?"

"Remus Lupin! Just shut up and drink, could you!" Hermione snarled at him, blushing furiously.

Snape heard the conversation all the way. His body was drunk, but his mind was not.

He had never thought that a stranger would give such comments on him. Generally, people just saw him as a 'villian', but she seemed to accept him with open-arms. She analysed him as a person. She even was on his side, defending him against Lupin.

Actually, he was tempted to sneak a look at her when Lupin asked whether she was interested in him, but decided it wasn't a good idea as he heard her snarling. However, he couldn't help but smile to himself. He had found himself a delightful distraction --- DiDi.

Later that night, after Lupin guided Snape back to Hogwarts, DiDi (Hermione) returned to her own head girl room through a secret passage between the Three Broomsticks and Gryffindor Tower. She was lucky that she didn't meet anyone in the common room, or else she would have had a lot of explanations to do. She still remembered last time when Ginny fell asleep in the common room accidentally -- she had had to make Ginny swear that she was not going to tell anyone about her going out at night, and her new appearance. In return Ginny knew why she went out at night.

Rosmerta was actually her distant relative. She was Hermione's grandmother's sister's sister in law's daughter. They had kept in touch and Hermione was more than surprise to know that she was a witch when she came in The Three Broomstick during her third year. Now, as she was going to graduate, living at home seemed not really convenient, as everything she had in touch with belonged to the wizarding world. Therefore Rosmerta offered Hermione to stay with her and help in Three Broomstick before she got a real job and a place to stay. Hermione accepted the offer, on two conditions --- firstly, she would disguise and be called DiDi during work, and secondly, she would want to start before she graduated, every Saturday and Sunday. Rosmerta and Hermione asked Dumbledore about it, and permission was granted, along with a newly-built secret passage between Gryffindor Tower and The Three Broomstick.

She sighed deeply once she she closed her door behind her, and sat down before her dressing table. She looked at her own reflection in the mirror on the dressing table. She looked brilliant in her disguise, but it represented the stereotype she hated most --- blonde hair, blue eyes, fair skin. That was one reason why no one could possibly guess it was her. She pulled off her blonde wig, and took off her blue-coloured contact lens. She also undid the spell paling her skin colour. There, she was the original Hermione, who had busy chestnut-brown hair, brown eyes, and healthy ivory skin.

Once she had freed herself from all those things, she changed into her night dress and she flung herself onto her bed. Crookshanks snuggled next to her, and Hermione stroked him for a while before he went back to sleep.

Hermione looked at Crookshanks and sighed, knowing that it might not be that easy for her to find sleep tonight. The encounter at the Three Broomsticks still bothered her somehow. Actually, it was not her intention to defend Snape to such an extent that it made Lupin suspect she was fancying Snape, but it had just gone out of control... She rarely got into a debate like this, not even when Ron couldn't understand why she had been with Krum... Actually they had had some talks about it, but she had never defended that relationship like she had done earlier tonight...And frankly, she still wondered... Did she really have a crush on Snape?

To Be Continued


	8. Chapter 8

**Title:** Half the World Away  
**Author name:** Calbee  
**Author email:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Humor  
**Keywords:** Snape Hermione psychological  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. Who would have thought that this could happen when the results of a psychological love test are assumed to have gone horribly wrong...  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This fic is inspired by an idea provided by josette the black pearl.  
**Author notes:** Thanks to everyone who has reviewed!

Sorry for updating so late. I had been busy doing some travelling, then taking a test for a job down in London, and then the preparation for Chinese New Year (the coming Sunday 29th January). Anyway, here's Chapter 8, and I wish everyone a Happy Chinese New Year (if you celebrate it like me ).

Chapter 8 On the Contrary

The first thing that Snape felt was the enormous pain in his head.

"What in the name of Merlin... " Snape groaned when another wave of pain erupted in his head. He scrambled out of bed and searched through his potions box for a pain-killing potion. Once he had gulped down the ingredients and the pain begin to subside, he started remembering about last night. It was intriguing to find an attraction in another woman, DiDi, which would make Lupin's worries die down, not that he gave a damn about it. On the other hand, Snape was suspecting that there was more to DiDi than met the eyes. There is something there he found weird or strange about her behaviour, but there was time to find out what it was once this year finished, with Harry Potter and his sidekicks graduated, he could have more time for his own. Talking of which, he should better get going for the last potion lesson for the seventh year.

* * *

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making. As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses...I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death -- if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

Snape looked at his class possibly for the last time in this dungeon. "This is what I had said seven years ago when you all started your first lesson of potions here. I must say I am both disappointed and pleased about you all." Snape looked at Longbottom briefly before switching his attention, "Some of you proved to be dunderheads that I usually have to teach," then he cast a slight nod at Hermione, Lavender and Draco, "while some have proved themselves." He turned around and walked back to his working table. "Tomorrow, you will all leave here, as qualified wizards and witches. I don't expect you to make your memories of potion class your best ones, but I do hope you go away with some knowledge of this exquisite and effective magic. Class dismissed."

While the students were storming out of the dungeon, excited that it was finally over, Snape said, "Miss Granger, Miss Parkinson, Miss Zabini, a word please."

Apart from the three of them, all the students left as quick as they can, including Harry and Ron. When the room was finally empty aside from the four of them, Snape said, slightly menacing, "Miss Zabini, Miss Parkinson, you two owe me and Miss Granger an apology too."

Hermione stared at him in surprise, while Blaise and Pansy shot him daggers, but was shortly knocked off by Snape's snarling. "Don't glare. You know what you have done. It's not my concern to where you got that piece of information, but it has gone too far for what you two intend to do."

"We are not going to apologize to the Mudblood," Blaise spatted, "but I apologize to you, Professor."

"Me too, Professor," Pansy said. "But I..."

"I don't want any apology from you two, Zabini, Parkinson. Just for your information, I don't care. It was not me who made a fool of themselves. You did," Hermione retorted back. "I am sorry, Professor Snape, but I think I should go before I make a fool of myself." After that, not bordered to wait for Snape's permission, she left the dungeon, banging the door closed behind her.

Snape was a bit surprised. Again, that Granger girl had given him another shock. He didn't expect her to do that. He turned his attention back to Blaise and Pansy, with disappointment and anger in his eyes. "I think I might ask Headmaster to let you two to stay or another year or two. You two obviously behave like a ten year-old."

* * *

"Nice job, Granger," came a voice behind her after she closed the door to the Potions classroom. It was Draco.

"Is that all you have to say?" She turned around and started leaving for the Hall, but she was appalled by what Draco just asked her behind her back. "What did you just say?"

"I said dance with me at the Leaving Feast tonight."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Granger, it's the third time I said. Dance with me at the Leaving Feast tonight."

Hermione had never felt so puzzled before. "Is this another prank or chance of insulting me? Malfoy, cut it out. I am not dancing with you."

"Granger, do you really think you are that undesirable?" Draco asked.

"Malfoy, whether I am desirable or not, it's none of your business, and I don't BLOODY care. Now. Bugger off."

To Be Continued


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:** Half the World Away  
**Author name:** Calbee  
**Author email:** Romance  
**Sub Category:** Humor  
**Keywords:** Snape Hermione psychological  
**Rating:** PG  
**Spoilers:** SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF  
**Summary:** Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. A Slytherin and a Gryffindor. Who would have thought that this could happen when the results of a psychological love test are assumed to have gone horribly wrong...  
**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This fic is inspired by an idea provided by josette the black pearl.  
**Author notes:** Big thanks for all the reviews!

Chapter 9 Who do you think you are!

Not many people knew, but Hermione was an excellent dancer. Obviously she didn't get the title of 'Gryffindor know-it-all' for nothing, right? Therefore she was not at all worried about dancing with Draco, rather she was worried that Draco couldn't dance at all. She was not being arrogant, but having a dentist mother who had won loads of social dancing competitions during her school years, let's just say Hermione had the genes for dance. On the other hand, she didn't know anything about a dance at the leaving feast, so she could bet that Draco was just bluffing.

However, her assumption was totally overturned when she entered the Hall. The four tables had been moved away from the centre and lined up along the wall. She also saw that her schoolmates were all dressed up, some in muggle style of ball gown and tuxedo, or in wizard style in dress robes. She was still a bit dumbfounded about what was going on, but was interrupted a sneer from none other than Draco Malfoy.

He was leaning on the side of the door, arching an eyebrow at Hermione, "I see you are determined to make me a ridicule."

* * *

Hermione turned around and just stared at Draco. Obviously not because she had lost her wit, but because Draco was in a tuxedo. All she could do was point at him and looked up and down at Draco. She was saved by Ginny's timely greeting.

"Why aren't you dressed up, Hermione? You are Head Girl! I mean Draco is even willing to wear a tuxedo so you two would not look strange together for the first dance," exclaimed Ginny, while she couldn't help blushing at the sight of Draco. "C'mon. I'll get you all sorted in no time."

Hermione was sitting in her Head Girl room with Ginny fussing around her. She was literally throwing all the clothes that she had packed and hadn't packed onto the bed, while getting Hermione to hurry with her make-up. It must be something with the red hair. Against better judgment, she had put on quite a bit of make-up on as Ginny insisted, and she looked much older, or rather, more passionate.

"Excellent! Go, put this on," Ginny said, handing her a red dancing gown. Hermione was a bit shocked to see that Ginny had chosen that red dress, but she took it and went into the bathroom and got changed. It was actually her mother's dress, the one that she wore for her last competition before going into dentistry. She put it on and was quite satisfied with the effect. The dress was backless till the waist, and with her up in a French twist, her back was bare to everyone's eyes, which also emphasize her narrow waist. One word would be enough to describe her present look --- sexy. Once she looked into the mirror checking a few times and satisfied, she exited the bathroom and was greeted by Ginny's hilarious expression of dumbfounded.

Hermione was sure that she had her desired effect, and all the people in the Hall tonight wouldn't know what hit them.

* * *

Draco was still standing outside the Hall in tuxedo, and Pansy was bothering Draco to the point that he was tempted to stupefy her for a few minutes' quietness.

"Draco, come. Why are you playing nice with that mudblood anyway? You two are going to start the dance, but it doesn't mean that you have to be alone with her1 Come in with me please?" Pansy was doing her best gesture (at least she thought) to charm Draco into going into the Hall with her.

Draco just shot her an annoying look and returned to looking back at the stairs where Hermione and Ginny had disappeared to. Draco snorted to himself for Pansy's tactics. He was a Slytherin, and of course he knew why Pansy was so eager to tear him away from waiting in front of the Hall was because of a bet she stroke with other Slytherins that she could pull him away from Hermione tonight. Like hell he would let this possibly happen. Anyone with any sense would rather spend time with the generally-understated beautiful Hermione. Anyway, not like his eyes were really set on her. His eyes were on someone close to her. Someone that he was sure would get his father all worked up in his grave. It gave him a very delighted mood.

Draco almost rolled his eyes with annoyance at the sight of a new round of whining from Pansy when he noticed someone in red had descended gracefully down the stairs followed by Ginny. He wasn't going to believe his eyes when he finally recognized that the one in red was Hermione Granger in a red sexy dress. He was going to eat his words. Hermione was the most understated beauty in the history of Hogwarts.

Not sure if it was the change of outfit, or that she was in a mood for mischief and further revenge, she gave Draco a sexy smile, "So Draco, ready for the first dance?"

* * *

Tango. She couldn't believe that she was tangoing. And most of all she couldn't believe she was wearing her mother's winning costume for Tango, tangoing with Draco.

"Well, it seems that even though we are dancing what muggles claimed to be the most passionate and erotic dance in the world, but your mind is somewhere else totally." Draco swung her out and back, which brought Hermione out of her trance.

"It's none of your business, and keep your hands from going any lower on my back!" said Hermione through her teeth with menace, with her face remaining total neutral. Draco then advanced on a dip which Hermione took the chance to try inflict bodily harm on a certain part, but Draco was clever enough to save his certain part by inches with a swing back.

"Relax, Granger. You are a beauty tonight, and beauty is always begged to be touched." Despite the glare from Hermione, he continued, "I like a challenge, but not a impossible one. You can assume you are relatively safe. I wouldn't want to lose a limb or two from your cronies. Especially, my eyes are not on you obviously," whispered Draco, while he looked for Ginny in the crowd, seeing that she was dancing with Harry, which brought a sudden jealous to Draco.

If Draco thought that his distaste towards Harry and Ginny dancing together had escaped Hermione watchful eyes, he was in grave danger. "If your eyes are on who I think it is, I would more than worry about a limb or two. I think you will have to fear about beheading and quartered by her six overly-protective brothers." Before Draco could come up with a quick threat, the dance was over. Draco kissed Hermione on the hand, and made sure that Hermione heard his words before he left her near the cocktail table, "Stay out of this Granger, or I will make you my shield towards Pansy. I won't worry you couldn't handle her, but I doubt you would want to have your last day in Hogwarts as full of cat fights." He turned and headed towards where Ginny was.

To Be Continued


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